


what has two eyes...

by kamwashere



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arkham Asylum, Gen, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Past Relationship(s), Realization, Riddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamwashere/pseuds/kamwashere
Summary: ... but can't see? Edward Nygma.A different take on 4x14 - Reunion. Ed reminisces on his past relationships.





	what has two eyes...

His relationship with Kristen Kringle was, Ed supposed, never going to last. It was bound to be doomed, by default. But it was good while it lasted. Good. Great. Fantastic. It was the normal, happy relationship, with a promise of intimacy that he wished he had before. He remembers being inside her for the first (and last time); her eyes shut, blissed out and calling his name. Ed was forever grateful that someone like Ms. Kringle gave that to him.  
  
It was a real shame that he had killed her before something wonderful could really happen to them. Ed did love her so.  
  
Oh please. A sneer. Kringle was a whiny bitch, and I, personally, am glad we squeezed the life out of her.  
  
Shut up.  
  
You didn't love her. You were infatuated.  _Obsessed._  What, because she's the only girl in the GCPD who would actually talk to you? Pathetic. He could imagine it rolling its eyes.  
  
'I loved Ms. Kringle!' Ed insisted, trembling rage seeps through him. He feels a dull throb on his knuckles and realised that fresh, red blood is spurting through. He blinks, he had punched the wall without meaning to. He also hadn't noticed that he had stood up, too.  
  
And to think that you creeped her out before. She must have been really desperate for some good fuck.  
  
'Don't talk about Ms. Kringle that way.' Ed returns to his seat, long limbs twitching slightly. He arranges his glasses shakily, and wipes the blood on his green suit.  
  
_Silence._  
  
Ed releases a sigh he didn't know he was holding. His mind wanders.  
  
After Ms. Kringle, there was Isabelle. Wait.  
  
Isabella. Her name was Isabella. She liked riddles, too, and she had a sweet smile.  
  
Scoff.  
  
Ed closes his eyes and tried to remember, visualize their first meeting, ignoring the drop in his stomach (he had forgotten her name, h _ow could he forget?_ ) It was a dark, cold night- yellow light illuminating the damp streets of Gotham. He was scanning the bottles of wine on the counters, determinedly looking for the drink that will suffice for his dinner with-  
  
Ed takes a deep breath. A mocking laughter penetrates his skull. He shakes his head.  
  
A bell rings, announcing the arrival of someone... anyone. He did not mind it, too busy comparing the bottles he had picked out. A three year-old Rombauer Chardonnay or some classic Cabernet Sauvignon? He briefly wonders what Oswald would li-  
  
Ed groans in frustration, and grips the pen he's holding.  
  
What has two eyes but can't see? It echoes.  
  
Shut up. Shut _up_.  
  
Then there she was. Suddenly Ed feels like he was on a vertigo; Kristen was... alive. No, she is not Kristen. Her pale, blonde hair gleams under the muted light inside the shop, and she didn't have glasses. Light blue eyes turns to him- the colour of the skies after the rain, Ed muses. He struggles to catch his breath.  
  
They had spent all night just talking, getting to know each other better. Isabella liked books, and riddles, and facts. She worked in a library, and she was a loner- like Ed. She was safe. She was too good to be true.  
  
Of course she was, you dumbass. It snapped. Isn't it strange that suddenly, someone who looks exactly like the woman you killed sometime ago shows up out of nowhere? And isn't it coincidental that she liked the same stuff that we do?  
  
Stop.  
  
What has two eyes but can't see? The figure repeats for the third time today.  
  
'Isabella was real,' he reminds himself, 'The realest thing to ever happen to me. But then Oswald took that away.'  
  
No, he was right, and you know it. You would have killed Isabella anyway, it's what you do. Ed flinched at the taunt. Then his mind, ever the traitor, wanders again.  
  
Lee Thompkins- the Doc. Intelligent, compassionate, beatiful- Jim never treated her right. But Ed can.  
  
'Once I get cured and got out of here,' he promises, a rueful smile forming on his lips. He takes the admission papers by a trembling hand, going over the written pages again. Ed will get better. And once he does, maybe he can finally tell Lee how he feels and this time, he _will_ do it right. He will not muck it up, and he has no intention to kill her. 

A third chance.  
  
Ed clings to the thought.  
  
'I will get better for Lee.' he repeats the words in his head. 'When I do, I will tell her how I feel.'  
  
Oh, for God's- this is madness. You. Are. Not. In. Love. With. Lee. Thompkins. Some woman stays with you for over a month and then wham! You're in love with her?! Do you even know what love is, you stupid idiot?  
  
'Do I?' Ed mutters faintly, feeling the beginnings of a migraine coming. He rests his forehead miserably on his left hand, massaging the lower region of his head. Doubt pools in his gut but he tries to push it away.  
  
See, Ed, the trouble with talking to projections of your psyche- The voice, distorted and crackly, like it was something out of a broken radio turns raspy, and nasally. Ed, for a moment, feels a horrifying, sinking feeling of some fucked up deja vu.  
  
-And you of all people should know this, is that they know everything you know- The figure turns to Oswald, wearing a top hat and smiling fondly at him. His eyes were both loving and vicious. -Including the things you're trying not to know.  
  
'Oswald.' The name rolls of his mouth before he can think of it. He remembers the letter, and it feels heavy on his suit jacket. He takes it from inside of his suit, and blinks thoroughly. He hadn't noticed that he had kept it.  
  
A kaleidoscope of memories comes rushing to him. Ed meeting the Penguin for the first time. Carrying him to his trailer, careful not to move his injured shoulder. Playing the piano and singing a song while the Penguin sleeps. The Penguin slitting a man's throat. Oswals visiting him on Arkham. An origami penguin.  
  
I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two.  
  
The figure, who turned to Ed again but bears the voice of Oswald, looms closer. What. Am. I?  
  
'Oh,' Ed suddenly sits straight. 'Of course.'  
  
The penny drops. Maybe you're not as hopeless as I had hoped you would be.  
  
Ed's mind clears and a wide grin spreads on his face, unprecedented and pleased, when he hears the the familiar wobble of feet behind him.  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Sorry this was so short, Nygmobblepot is kinda ruining my life atm and I love it. Leave a kudos/comment! thank you!
> 
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> come scream about nygmobblepot with me on [tumblr!](https://kamwashere.tumblr.com)


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